Today was... Emotional

Never have I wished an off day to be over. They come few and far between, but I was ready to end this day. I woke up early, Josh had made me breakfast, which was lovely of him but I didn't enjoy it. I eat eggs now, but sometimes I can't. I get halfway through and am done. Happens with bananas, too, and other foods. Whatever. And then my husband and I argued. Not over the egg situation, of course. But over opinions on something neither of us will change. 

I spent the next few hours doing house work and trying to finish turning the table cloths I purchased into curtains, but couldn't find the rings anywhere. 

Shortly before noon, driving to the gym, light flurries turned thick, like fog, and my car began to slide on what did not seem like an icy highway. Cars all around me were sliding off the road and swerving. I saw on the other side, going east, the beginnings of what turned out to be a 85 car pile up. I was shaken and crying, feeling so grateful that my new car kept me from going out of control.

At the gym, I hugged Josh, forgetting about the morning, and tried to focus on my workout. I was feeling pretty good at first, I'm up to 55 on my push press (where I was only at 20lbs 2 weeks ago) and ready to push myself. Not what happened. After just a few pull ups I felt my body begging me to give up, and that was only part of the WoD. I finished, with Josh and John cheering me on, but was a wreck and crying again at the end. I cried at the gym. Boooo. 

I was feeling pretty crappy at that point, but thankfully the next part was iced coffee. And baby snuggles. A friend from work invited me to meet her not yet 3 week old babe and goodness it was just what I needed. She farted on me and refused to burp after her bottle, but I was happy to hold her. 

My emotions are hopefully settled for the day now and I can get a good nights sleep. Except I had that afternoon coffee. Crap. 

2013- a little list

I've never been one to have a "new year's resolution"... I start things such as working out again the beginning of December (just like this year) and trying to stick to eating better several times a month, etc.  

The past few days I've tried to come up with a few goals for myself and even tried to take notes of ideas in my planner. ( I got as far as titling the top of the page though. So that was something) So here's a try at typing some goals.

1. Continue Crossfit. At least stick with it until I can have enough journal entries to see results and decide how I feel. Right now, I feel sore. Its a good sore though. And that leads to a few specific 'fitness goals'
     1a. Be able to do a pull up. Right now I can barely with 2 bands assisting me.
     1b. Push ups without knees
   
2. Spend as much time with that husband as I can in the next 12 (gulp, only 12??) weeks before he deploys. Which includes a vacation. Which we can't really afford right now, but its easier to pay off credit cards when he's not around anyway.
We've been discussing Florida, maybe Texas, or Tennessee again. This is truly just a list of places he'd like to live and wants to talk me into moving to. Ha.

3. Get more sleep. Drink more water.  I looove coffee. I would inject it into my veins if I could. But I'm trying to force myself into seeing it as a special treat and get sufficient rest and good ol' H2O instead. So far I've had close to a gallon every day this week. #bathroombreaksgalore

4. Plan out meals/cook more. Heck, maybe, just maaaybe plan out what I want to make for dinner before I go to the grocery. And keep going to the farmer's markets!

5. Find out who Gossip Girl is. Seriously! I'm in the middle of season 3 and my friend just told me I'll find out on the very last episode. And then figure out which show I'll watch next!

So thats all I have for the start of 2013. Hope to make it a good (and fast one!)

Festival of Lights

In the 6 winters Josh and I have been together we always say we'll make it to the zoo's Festival of Lights... and then don't.
This year he asked me if we could take H & M on a night I was babysitting them anyway.
We got there before it was dark and pretty empty. I purchased the reusable cups for hot chocolate and H said "it was the best hot chocolate ever!"

We rode the carousel and the train and made it all the way to the other side of the zoo when I realized it was getting close to leaving time and the zoo was packed. It took us forever to get back to where we parked, both children decided they couldn't walk anymore, and while I can usually carry them both at the same time (even at 4 & 6 years old!) my legs we so sore from the gym, that walking myself was hard enough.

I was exhausted and kinda cranky and the kids were hanging on by a thread when we finally made it back, but Josh talked me into s'mores and suddenly we were all happy again. Thanks chocolate. 

After making back to H & M's house and putting them to bed, Josh took a little nap himself until their parents got home. And taking pictures of him sleeping is my favorite thing. 

My first try at Crossfit

I haven't worked out in awhile. I've never been dedicated enough to put a workout over an extra half hour in bed, even though it makes me feel better in the long run. 

Anyway, Josh had invited me to the gym before and finally Saturday I went with him, which meant trying a Crossfit WoD. Josh has been doing Crossfit for the past few months and it was nice that he was able to explain what to do to me, especially since I was nervous. 

It was a pretty simple workout and I think I did well. Made it through 3 rounds in 7 minutes. The rowing machine was not my fav. And Josh attempted to motivate me by telling me I was " trying to get to Ryan Gosling"... Which made me laugh. The next day I was sooo sore! I'm hoping I'll be able to continue working out, just need to find the time. Or get my lazy self out of bed!

Market Date

On our way back home on Sunday we stopped in Columbus. I had never been and Josh knew about a market that was similar to Findlay he had been to a few times.
The market was inside what used to be a paper factory, which is pretty neat.

It was really hard to decide where to pick to eat. We walked around once to look at everything, and if I had been alone I would have gone in a circle a few more times. (I'm a mess like that.)  I went with the place that made their own pasta and had pasta with artichoke and gorgonzola sauce. So good.

And then we had Jeni's ice cream. I've bought her ice cream a few times at Jungle Jim's but it was special to get to try scoops of different flavors. I can't remember all of the flavors we tried (all 5 of them. Ha.) but the sweet potato with toasted marshmallow was wonderful. In fact, I want more right now!

It was a nice stop and break in the middle of our very, very long day. Seriously, longest day ever. Now I need to get Josh to Findlay since he's never been. 

-xo

Currently

It is currently 6am and we have been on the road for 3 hours.
I only slept an hour last night and because I can't sleep with noise (the radio. And really it is way too early for Crime In Stereo) and its so dark out that I can't even read on my Kindle.

Driving- to Youngstown. It's the husbands Christmas family party. I have no idea what to expect but am hoping to have fun. Or at least not be cranky.

Reading- The Night Circus. I've eyeballed this one at Target quite a few times ( I'm drawn to books by their cover. Sue me) and finally remembered to charge my Kindle so I could buy it.

Excited about- my new car! We purchased a new Santa Fe and I actually like driving now. Though Josh does whenever we go somewhere together. Don't worry, I'm still lost all the time.

Late night anxiety- making a decision about my job future. I've had back and forth arguments with myself, if I love working with children and I love young children, then I can be happy anywhere, right? Wrong. Now I need to figure out what's next...

Oh and planning for Christmas. My family keeps asking me for a wish list or ideas. I'm horrible at asking for things. Unless one of them wants to clean my house for me...Then my sister would clear my closet! Haha
xo

The Thankful Post

Oooh here you are post that saved instead of posting and doesn't have any pictures! Wonderful to see you. Good to know I'm still thankful for all things below...

A few things I'm feeling especially grateful and thankful for this year...
-Becoming a wife. Our quick decision to get married before he left for basic training may not have been how I originally thought it would happen, but whenever has life gone how I planned? (Hint: never!) Marriage isn't easy, but its wonderful. Don't tell him I said that.
-My new family. Josh has given me a mother in law, a sister, a brother, and an aunt. They've gone out of their way to make me feel loved.
- Allison moving home. I've known her my whole entire life. She takes care of me and is number one whenever I have an emergency. I look to her for advice, guidance, and for the best home made meals. Seriously. She can cook. *Bonus that she gave me Paighton, who I love dearly **Double bonus. We will be welcoming a little man this spring. I can't wait to meet him!
-Elyse. Not only is she the smartest and most hilarious young lady I know, this girl finishes collage and joins the peace corps. She left in October to spend the next 2 1/2 years in Ghana. Her big heart amazes me. Learning about life in Africa really puts all of my silly problem into perspective, and makes me thankful for little things.
-My mom. She is kind, silly, and oh so wonderful. I'm so lucky to have a friendship with her and even more so that I can call her mom. Plus watching her dance is hilarious, she's good for that, too.
-H&M. I've babysat these two for just over 5 years. Forever. The other night M asked me if I had any kids (a question he has asked me since being able to ask questions) I told him no, of course he knows I do not. He thought a moment and say "Yeah kinda, Ash. You kinda got kids because you got us." And I died from the adorableness.
-xo